It’s been a while…

I can’t say I don’t do this very often nor can I say it only depends on the mood or the emotion of the setting and characters. That would be a lie. I can say I don’t do it more times than not. But I have done it. Sometimes I just get too impatient. Other times the words are drawn on and I just want to get to the point. And sometimes I’ve just got to know if this character is going to get killed off or if these two finally get there act together and kiss! Like I said I’m just impatient.

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December 17, 2017

I’m tired

I’m groggy

My eyes are crusty

My eyes are heavy

Sleep comes

Sleep goes

Day in

Day out

It’s always the same

December 15, 2017

The outside is cold

But she had no coat.

The ground is layered in wet snow

But she had no shoes.

The sky is thickly dark

But she has no way of seeing.

So I gave her a coat

One that is heavy to keep her warm with.

I gave her a pair of boots

Black and thick with fur so her feet were no longer wet.

And I gave her a flash light

So she could see before she trips.

This Christmas I lacked three gifts.

One for a friend who lives in the mountains of Alaska and is always cold.

Another for my brother in law who shovles in his Florida sandals.

And the last for my cousin who lives in the thick dark woods.

POETRY

I.

December 7, 2017

She dipped the bag

And the water turned red.

She blew away the steam

And put the cup to her lips.

Her hands were made warm

But her lips became red themselves.

She licked them saving the flavor

Far better than the water turned red.

Here’s The Thing

So here’s the thing…

You know how some girls (or guys) think they are ugly, but really they are like one of the most attractive people in the room? There’s a reason for that. It’s not because they have issues or they are too vain or full of pride or lack humility or even think less of themselves. How do I know? Because I’m one of them. Granted I know I am not the most attractive person in the room, but I also know that I’m not totally unattractive.

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So what’s the reason?

The reason is this…

Either we are with someone, but we know deep down we can do so much better than the person we are with. Or it could be that we are not with anyone at all. So the questions we intend to task ourselves, is how can I do better, how can I find some body, how do I get his or her attention. Or, why can’t I do better, why can’t I find some body, why can’t I get his or her attention. Being single after two failed, short, long distant relationships I was constantly asking myself these questions. I felt ugly, that no one seemed to notice how pretty I was even when I tried hard by dressing nice and doing something different to my hair. I say was, because I no longer try, I no longer care.

Why?

Because I have to stay true and honest to myself before he can find me. Granted it sucks. Because, lets be honest, who wants to be patient and wait for the right one to come along. I don’t, well didn’t. I do better now. I’ve been working on myself. Sometime someone will notice, someone will look at me and he will like what he sees. The sound of that makes it all worth it; right? Yes. Because who wants failed relationships after failed relationships. If you keep going, trying to force it, it won’t be fun anymore. It won’t be worth the going because you would have worn yourself out. I started wearing myself out. Trying out different apps and meeting new people. Neither of those are me. Meeting new people terrifies me and I hate talking to people over the internet when I haven’t met them in person. I was forcing it. It just wasn’t me.

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Last year was my first full of year of no dating. It’s actually been a total of one year one month and eleven days. It’s not easy being patient and I can’t say I don’t think bad about myself. Being twenty-four, but not looking my age, I think it’s hard for guys to notice me, to look at me and want to have a conversation with me. Without a drink in hand most people think I’m sixteen or even younger. With a drink in hand, people think I’m just twenty-one or they are probably thinking I am drinking illegally. I know right; totally sucks!

So, be yourself…the right guy or girl will see that.

But these are just my thoughts, a theory.

What are your thoughts?

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