I am sitting on my bed Indian style with my cat who is looking out the window and watching some “Heroes” myself. And its 11:18 PM. Your probably thinking why am I up at this hour making a blog post. Well, I will tell. I just had the most amazing night and I want to share it with the world. Or who ever reads this bloody blog.
Tonight I got all dressed up and went to the Bull Tavern Inn. I met Mama Jane there along with a few other people from my church/choir. I don’t do crowds or a lot of socialization, so I was surprised by my own self when I said I would join up for dinner a few days before. But it sounded like fun and I always thought if I kept giving it a try it would pay off. And tonight it has.
As I am 21 I can now drink. And being around all those adults, I bought myself a Moscato wine. It was very bubbly. I loved it, I felt like I was actually fitting in. Not completely, but it was step. A step that I liked taking. I remember the last little party I did with the choir and I couldn’t drink. It really separated me. Others may have not noticed, but it made me realize how young I really was.
I listened to conversations and chatted when someone talked with me. I don’t always like to start a conversation because I get nervous or I am afraid that I won’t be heard. But if given a question, I will answer. That table was full of laughter and words flying across. And I was part of the mix.
After dinner we all headed over to the Devos Hall to go and see the Requiem. We had front row seats. Well third row really, but come on, that’s the same thing. Right? The Requiem lasted an hour and a half. It was beautiful and amazing. I loved watching the cellos and base as well as listening to the violins. I long to learn to play the violin and the cello. I think the base would be to heavy. The Soprano was just fantastic. To reach those high notes has got to mean something. Though I don’t think I would ever want to be able to sing opera. I prefer my voice with my guitar.
We all talked non stop about the show and what we thought was amazing. The small, funny mistakes that were made. We talked about how much we a loved the conductor. He was so cool to watch. The way his hands would be flying and his arms raising. At the end I was sure he was going to hit the soprano more than once. That part put me on the edge a little. He even did a jump skip a few times. That made me smile. The whole thing was just incredibly fantastic.
After the show and chatting we went to go get some desert. Some had left, so there was only eight of us left. Boy were we loud as ever. I swear half of that loudness at the restaurant was from our group of eight. I even got a compliment from Mama Jane. She liked the way I did my hair. I don’t get compliments like that, not often anyway. Plus, I don’t spend a lot of time of my hair. It is unmanageable and I gave up trying to find knew ways to wear my hair a long time ago.
I have to say this was the first time in a long time where I have gone out and not come home crying. I have always been unpopular, I get that. Its a fact I learned to face, but it doesn’t mean it never hurts. I keep it in like a dam, until it breaks. But recently I have decided that I no longer want to be afraid. Of anything, of showing people who I am. I’m tired of hiding. And tonight, I think I did a pretty good job of having fun.