So here’s the thing…
You know how some girls (or guys) think they are ugly, but really they are like one of the most attractive people in the room? There’s a reason for that. It’s not because they have issues or they are too vain or full of pride or lack humility or even think less of themselves. How do I know? Because I’m one of them. Granted I know I am not the most attractive person in the room, but I also know that I’m not totally unattractive.
So what’s the reason?
The reason is this…
Either we are with someone, but we know deep down we can do so much better than the person we are with. Or it could be that we are not with anyone at all. So the questions we intend to task ourselves, is how can I do better, how can I find some body, how do I get his or her attention. Or, why can’t I do better, why can’t I find some body, why can’t I get his or her attention. Being single after two failed, short, long distant relationships I was constantly asking myself these questions. I felt ugly, that no one seemed to notice how pretty I was even when I tried hard by dressing nice and doing something different to my hair. I say was, because I no longer try, I no longer care.
Because I have to stay true and honest to myself before he can find me. Granted it sucks. Because, lets be honest, who wants to be patient and wait for the right one to come along. I don’t, well didn’t. I do better now. I’ve been working on myself. Sometime someone will notice, someone will look at me and he will like what he sees. The sound of that makes it all worth it; right? Yes. Because who wants failed relationships after failed relationships. If you keep going, trying to force it, it won’t be fun anymore. It won’t be worth the going because you would have worn yourself out. I started wearing myself out. Trying out different apps and meeting new people. Neither of those are me. Meeting new people terrifies me and I hate talking to people over the internet when I haven’t met them in person. I was forcing it. It just wasn’t me.
Last year was my first full of year of no dating. It’s actually been a total of one year one month and eleven days. It’s not easy being patient and I can’t say I don’t think bad about myself. Being twenty-four, but not looking my age, I think it’s hard for guys to notice me, to look at me and want to have a conversation with me. Without a drink in hand most people think I’m sixteen or even younger. With a drink in hand, people think I’m just twenty-one or they are probably thinking I am drinking illegally. I know right; totally sucks!
So, be yourself…the right guy or girl will see that.
But these are just my thoughts, a theory.
What are your thoughts?